Nothing in life worth having comes easy

10 Jun

The culmination of week 1 was weighing in today.  I went in knowing I had not lost.  I have been unfortunately obsessed with weighing myself this week.  However, I had not prepared myself for the fact that I could be up in weight.

So the big moment comes.  I am a ball of nerves and somewhere in the back of my sub-conscience I am hoping  that by some miracle I have lost weight from the time I left my house this morning, or that my scales have been wrong and I did in fact lose weight.

***Drum Roll***

I gained 1 pound this week.

What goes through my mind?  Disappointment… disappointment because of course the purpose of what I am doing is to lose not to gain, but also disappointment because damn it! I did what I was supposed to do.  I did not cheat!  Why me?  Why can’t I have weight fly off of me like other people?  What is wrong with me?

Mood: Disappointed and Deflated

After talking with my counselor, I discovered two things PMS is the devil and I am only supposed to be eating meat when I just can’t take it and need something off the diet. I mis-understood my mid-week consult and thought it was cool to eat lean protein everyday.  She advised to try to not eat anything other than the supplements and veggies.  I told her there will be no chicken consumed by me this week.  My resolve was returning because water-retention and confusion might be all that hindered my improvement this week.

I keep telling myself that it is ONLY week 1.  I am back in the right frame of mind as I write this post, but today has been challenging for me.  I have thought about and craved more foods than I can mention here without boring you to death.  All of which are the worst possible things I could eat.

You see this is the point in diets, not necessarily week 1 but a gain or no loss, when I wonder why I should even bother.  Why am I depriving myself of enjoyment to gain a pound?  I can do that eating the crap I was eating before.

I am so much more self aware than I have ever been in my life and being aware that I do this every time, helped me to push away self doubt and loss of will power.  I am in control and I have shown immense will power this week and especially today.  Me and my extra pound have nothing to be ashamed about this week.  I did what I was supposed to do and I just have to be patient and determined.

This week I start working on getting my cardio in daily.  I will keep you posted on my progress!

As always, please comment and share your struggles and triumphs below.

 

7 Responses to “Nothing in life worth having comes easy”

  1. Casey D June 10, 2012 at 2:06 am #

    You are right.. It is only week one. You are just getting started honey. I’m willing to bet the cardiovascular will help immensely!

  2. David June 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    1 pound is nothing to get worked up about. It’s the overall trend that th matters. If you weigh yourself throughout the day, you will find that your weight fluctuates within a few pounds. If you dehydrate yourself you will weigh less. If you really need to go to the bathroom, you will weigh more. Keep at it and keep looking down the road!

  3. Laura June 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    Keep it up Jennifer. I am trying to lose the rest of my weight gained from Jackson. I have been running 2 miles on hills 3 days a week and working toward 100 pushups 3 days a week with my break on Saturday or Sunday. I gained 3 lbs this week with all of that exercise and dieting. However, I also have PMS. I know it is water weight and will go away in a week or so. It is extremely frustrating, but your hard work and determination will pay off. It will be so worth it.

  4. Susan June 10, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    If you lose too fast it will be harder to keep off! Learning healthy habbits and then melting the fat will pay off. You can do this! I am starting a lifestyle change and may just have to blog.

  5. chirpybleu June 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    Thanks everyone for taking to time to share and comment. I love getting feedback and interacting with you all. I know the 1 pound gain getting to me is seriously illogical, I do. It is not just an ongoing battle to get my body fit, it is a battle to work through my years and years of mind effing myself when it comes to weight loss. Hearing from you all is helping me make some major changes and keeping me focused and motivated!

  6. Jill Wachs June 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    You are re-programming your body and of course it’s going to resist at first. Just gotta keep your mind focused, which it sounds like you’re doing. Also, you’ll be amazed how quickly things change after you start working out. It does wonders for the mood as well. Keep up the good work!

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