Fat Grievances…A List

9 Jul

I was thinking about two things the other day.  The first being a craving for something terrible for me and the other was  the end of this journey.

The craving had me thinking that enjoying the taste of that junk in the moment was not worth the backslide of my progress so far.  This then led me to thinking about the future and how this journey would not really ever end.

Lifetime maintenance is going to be a huge part of this process.  It will never end.  I have been told and heard so much about re-gain and the aftermath of severe weight loss.  It terrifies me to my core.

It does not scare me enough to stop me from moving forward, but it is still a looming fear about when the losing weight part ends.  I am still a long way away from that point, but I thought I might as well start thinking and planning so that I am prepared when the time comes and I meet my ultimate goal.  Because folks, it is coming.  I promise.

In addition to researching fitness and healthy lifestyles, I came up with a list of what really bothers me about my weight.  I think making this list and continuing to add to it, will help me remember why I never want to be where I am now and continue to push me to keep going.

Um yeah or something like that

Here is my list of Fat Grievances:

  • Feeling so uncomfortable that I cannot enjoy beach vacations, swimming, lake trips, white water rafting etc.
    • The few occasions I have ventured out to do these things, have been very anxiety ridden times because of my body.
  • Maternity Pictures.  (The pregnant belly experience)
    • I did not want pictures of me pregnant because I never really looked pregnant.  I just looked fatter, maybe a little more round, but mostly just fatter.  I feel like I was constantly trying to find someway to point out the fact that I was pregnant and not just fat. It was very depressing for me despite how happy I was to be pregnant.
  • Not having a hospital gown, salon smock, etc that would cover me.
    • I have multiple experiences of just standing while people scurry around trying to accommodate my size while trying to not make me feel bad.  News flash, the second you had to try to find something to fit me, I was already feeling beyond bad.  It is not their fault.  It is mine, but unless you have lived that, you cannot imagine the embarrassment you feel and what that does to your self esteem.
  • Seats that are too small.
    • I can’t tell you how many chairs, theater seats, classroom desks, etc that I have suffered in because I was too large to fit comfortably in the seat.  Imagine having painful indentions in your legs from sitting for an extended period of time smushed into a too small seat, or only being able to sit sideways in a desk in a classroom because you could not fit between the back of the seat and the desk.  Sitting through that is demoralizing and beyond depressing.
  • Shorts that bunch up because your thighs rub together.
    • I know you know the shimmy shake side step move I am talking about that nonchalantly removes the bunch.
  • Being worried or embarrassed when faced with even one flight of stairs.

There is so many more, but these are my main fat grievances .

I hope that each of you no matter what goal you are working toward, come up with a list of what you don’t ever want to go back to or don’t want to experience again.

Because you won’t regret that.

Laminate it, glue to the wall, tattoo it on your face…well maybe not that one, but seriously make the list and look at to remind you why you are doing what you are doing.  Then don’t forget to look at it when you reach your goals to keep you from backsliding.

I don’t know for a fact that this will keep me from regressing, but this is as good as anything I can come up with for now.  The grievances on my list are things I never want to experience again…EVER!  So, I think they will be pretty dang motivating.

If you are so inclined, please share your lists, your ways you have maintained your goals, or even your fears for when you reach your goals.

8 Responses to “Fat Grievances…A List”

  1. Jane July 9, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    Great thoughts for today. Yes, the journey never ends, the destination only changes. I am 3 lbs from goal and I know it will be hard to maintain but I have something I never had before. The gym. Because of my wonderful trainer I now have the love of working out. The feeling I get when I push my body is better than…..eating something I know I shouldn’t. Besides, nothing tastes as good as thin feels. There are days I think about eating junk, I know what it tastes like & I also know what it will do to my body. Being obese for so long has had too many consequences i.e. needing a knee replacement, flabby skin that will never tighten b/c I am too old. So persevere my friend. You are young and it will be okay. Stay strong…..Jane

    • chirpybleu July 9, 2012 at 9:54 pm #

      Thanks again Jane for your encouraging words and support!

  2. Maestra Carrie July 9, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    I wanted you to know that, because you have had the courage to start your journey, I am going to start mine (yet again!). I LOVE the list of fat grievances! I can so relate to them. I need to get up and move and remember that it’s for my future and my daughter’s future as well 🙂 Hang in there and thanks for being such a great inspiration. One of these days we will meet!! 🙂

    • chirpybleu July 9, 2012 at 9:56 pm #

      Carrie, Thank you so much for you comment and following my blog! It really touches me that you can find inspiration in my journey! I know you can do this! Just let me know if I can help you in any way. Yes we will meet one of these days! Best of luck and let me know how you are doing.

  3. tandcsligh July 9, 2012 at 9:56 pm #

    thanks for these thoughts! your are totally making me want to step it up and try and loose weight! i really NEED to loose weight! thanks for the motivation! 😀

    • chirpybleu July 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm #

      Anytime girl! Thanks for the comment and for keeping up with me!

  4. casey July 9, 2012 at 10:45 pm #

    I’m going to say my grievance is the flat out ignorance I had about food. I’ve learned so much about food, calories, fat etc. I’ve yo yo’d with my weight. I was at goal at one point last year. But I can honestly say I’ve never ate cleaner than I’m eating now. And I will never be as ignorant about food as I used to be and I can pass my knowledge on to my children. My weight is going back down again and I’m hoping with my new outlook on food it stays down this time!

  5. Ingrid July 10, 2012 at 6:14 am #

    So many recognisable items on that list :
    – the salon smocks or complimentary robes in hotel rooms, that I never manage to close (having a 15cm/6in gap at the front has never been fashionable)
    – feeling uncomfortable in situations where I am overly exposed (think pools, hammams, beach, gyms, …) I usually go anyway, but I feel slightly less inhibited abroad because I convince myself that I will never see these people again anyway. Silly, isn’t it?
    – the shimmy shake … been there, done that … and I don’t know what is worse : this or the sore thighs from rubbing together, after wearing a dress in warm weather.
    – having to ask for a lengthening piece for a belt on a plane. I only had to ask once on a low cost flight because I have never encountered any problems on regular commercial flights seatbelts. It’s incredibly embarrassing and I don’t want to ever have to ask for one again.

    My worst moment today : when I arrived at the office this morning and noted that the front door to the building was stuck and could only open up a 30cm/1ft gap. I just stared at the door debating with myself whether I would try to squeeze myself past it or not. Eventually the possibility of getting stuck and embarrassing myself in front of everyone made me decide against it. A slim woman who arrived at the same time slipped in without a problem and the way she looked at me … I don’t know, pitiful I guess, but I would have liked to just disappear. So I trudged back through the rain to the other side of the building in order to get in through the garage. I am sure the slim lady doesn’t think about the front door anymore, but I still do. That says it all, doesn’t it?

    And my worse fear about the end of this journey? I am not weary of having to watch my steps and what I eat for the rest of my life once I get to a healthy weight. I am mainly afraid of saggy skin and all the horrible pictures you can see on the net of people who lost as much weight as I have to. I do realise that these pictures are nearly always of people who have undergone bariatric surgery and lost that much in a very short time, but still …

    Oh well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, won’t we? :o)

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