A 31 Year Old Bedazzled Elderly Woman Walks Into A Clothing Store…

8 Oct

Stop me if you have heard this one.

I mentioned on Saturday that I was going to hit up a local consignment store that carries plus sized clothing. With Tink on the mend, I did just that. It was nearly a major bust though.

I would describe the clothing as mostly rich old lady clothes. Please take no offense if you are a rich old lady reading this post. It is just that I am neither rich, nor am I old. I am a lady and that is about the only part that applies.

I managed to find a couple of simple basic tops, and one dynomite one. (that is dyn-O-mite not dynamite.)

The dynomite top makes me feel like I look like a million bucks. I hope it has the same magic when I put it on to actually wear it.

I am glad I found some tops, but my biggest issue is pants. That was a big epic fail on this shopping trip. What I found was unflattering cuts (not modern) or god-awful denim colors/embellishments.

I don’t think it is too much to ask to have low waisted pants (not thong bearingly low a’ la Britney circa 2001, think somewhere between waist and  hips) that are not bedazzled down the leg or that do not have a jewel encrusted patch on the crack. (no I am not kidding). Nor am I a person who is going to rock brown acid washed jeans. I am sure it can be fashionable, but that is just not my thing.

I don’t think non-plus sized people realize how hard it is for us to not look like a glittery Christmas tree clown at a disco or like you are 80. Again no offence to older ladies. I will one day rock my polyester pants and orthopedic shoes…just not when I am 31.

There was one pants triumph however. I tried on a pair of seemingly harmless pants as a ” shh no one will know that you tried this size and it did not fit” kind of move. While the pants were not flattering and were pretty snug…those sons of guns buttoned and zipped without an act of congress and without me laying down and sucking in for dear life.

Those pants were a size 24. I was wearing 30’s when I started this process. (I am so comfortable with you all at this point, I did not even flinch typing that out.) So while I would say I am a comfortable 26 right now, I zipped the frikken 24’s!

So, the trip was not a total loss. I am now off to hit up a couple of stores for pants, but will probably end up ordering from Old Navy. I generally prefer the fit of Old Navy pants. Their plus size selection tends to be more youthful and are typically more modern cuts. However, a few years back Old Navy decided to only offer plus sizes online. It is offensive that I am not a valued enough customer to warrant store space, but my options are limited and they usually “get me” in the pants department.

I will probably end up ordering some different styles of pants and returning the fits I don’t like. This is annoying and costly in the beginning but I can’t be saggy baggy FitChick for much longer!

Saggy Pants…Gross Butt

Good Fitting Pants…Cute Butt!

Yep, that is my butt in my saggy baggy pants and some “skinny” jeans. I wanted to illustrate my current FitChick problem. It is a great problem to have, but a problem nonetheless.  By the way, taking a picture of your own butt is rather difficult!

Exploding muffin top, but these size 24 “skinny” jeans are zipped and buttoned! Target pants…I am coming for you!

Do any of you have any shopping pet peeves? Any plus size clothing recommendations? Any clothing size shifts to brag about? Please share with us in the comments below.

Stay Strong and Keep Moving,

4 Responses to “A 31 Year Old Bedazzled Elderly Woman Walks Into A Clothing Store…”

  1. kepotts October 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm #

    What a motivational moment to have those pants fit — that’s awesome! You’re cracking me up with the bedazzled descriptions…good luck finding some un-rhinestoned garments!

    • chirpybleu October 8, 2012 at 8:54 pm #

      Thanks so much! I was over the moon when they fastened! And thanks for the bling-less well wishes! LOL

  2. Denise October 9, 2012 at 6:53 am #

    You are just too funny! I love the way you write. I have totally been there too. And still now. I went shopping the other day but didn’t come home with anything. I didn’t like how anything fit. Shopping is a good motivator for losing weight. I think I will go again this weekend……but will probable still not buy. My butt is to big for the pants to fit my waist. Then you have the problem of the waist band sticking out the back. ugh!!! Always something :p

  3. Laura @ Chaotic Domestic October 9, 2012 at 8:36 am #

    Congratulations on your progress!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Peri's Spice Ladle

Indian-inspired Food for the Global Palate

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

Good Clean Food

Living Deliciously Well

New Body Same Mind

My battle with the mind/body limbo after gastric bypass surgery

| Gaining My Life Back |

My physical and mental journey to a healthy lifestyle

The McCutes

A glance at the life I'm creating with my family.

Mae Mai

Boldly going where no cellist has gone before...


revolutionizing fitness

The Primal Sophisticate

city life, simplified

ryanlyndseycoulter's Blog

A fine WordPress.com site

Lose It Big

From losing to living


Sharing tid bits of our wedding planning processes!


a blog about our little family

%d bloggers like this: