Think You Know Me Thursday: And The Card Attached Would Say…

24 Jan

Come on you know the rest…(belt it out) Thank you for being a friend!!!!

Today’s think you know me Thursday comes as proof, that while I consider myself the antithesis of a dumb blonde, I do have moments where my roots show.

Scene:

Enter a chubby Jennifer circa 1994.

I am in junior high, and I am trying to get fit.  I  decided that I was going to do a good leisurely mile on the treadmill in mom’s exercise/craft room out in dad’s shop.  You know feel the burn of walking at a slow pace while watching TV.

As I have mentioned before, we did not have cable.  We lived in the sticks, and dad was anti-satellite dish.  This was back when they were the size of Volkswagen.  So, I had limited choices for my exercise time viewing.

Lucky me though, it was 4:30 pm and Golden Girls reruns were on the one channel we got clear reception on.  Score!  So, as I am walking along on the treadmill watching those funny golden ladies, something happened, and for a moment I got really stupid.

The episode was the one where Rose’s blind sister, Lily, came for a visit.  During the episode, there was a scene in Rose’s bedroom.  Lilly was sitting at the make up table and appeared to be putting on makeup, powdering her face or something like that.  My mind starts to wonder…how would someone do their makeup if they were blind?  Would you be able to tell if you were putting it on correctly just by the way it felt?  So, being the genius that I am, I decided to see what it would feel like to apply make up without the sense of sight.  I closed my eyes and proceeded to rub my face as if applying foundation…while I am walking on the treadmill mind you…

If you do not know that the actress that plays Lily is Flo from Alice…then you can kiss my grits.

Yeah it did not take long for my coordinated self to lose my footing and fall on the treadmill, be slammed against the wall, and have the belt RIP the skin off of my knees.  I hopped up wounded, bloody, and intelligence bruised, then I hobbled into the house.  As I made my way to the house from the shop, I was thinking sobbing about how I was going to explain this one to my mom.

She was used to me being a klutz,  but not a ding bat.  I decided on my short walk that I would just tell a little white lie about how I had injured myself.  I told my mom that I tripped and fell on the sidewalk between the shop and the house and slid…yeah I said I slid on concrete.  I was either really convincing in my re-enactment, or my mom just let the story go because well if it was flat straight and I was barefoot, I could still fall in a glorious fashion…so it was believable.

I had to wear huge gauze bandages on my knees and it was already shorts weather at school.  I stuck with my tale of slipping and sliding on the concrete sidewalk to all curious parties at school.

The scars still linger as does the sting to my ego from my ever so genius move.

Curse you Golden Girls and your though provoking episodes.

17 Responses to “Think You Know Me Thursday: And The Card Attached Would Say…”

  1. Courtney @ Journey of a Dreamer January 24, 2013 at 10:46 am #

    Hilarious! I had a moment when I fell off the treadmill at the gym. I kept hanging on as if my flabby arms would miraculously pull up my 200+ lb body up when they could barely lift the 8lb dumbbells… so I let go… and flew off the back of the treadmill on my belly. awesome, right? I got back up and kept running like it didn’t happen.

  2. Feisty Jes January 24, 2013 at 11:09 am #

    This is hysterical. I haven’t fallen yet on the treadmill but I have a deep fear of falling off. Any time I have been on a treadmill I have to hold the handlebars in front of me for dear life, usually my fingers are cramped and I can’t move them afterwards with my white knuckle, death grip.

  3. Chris (@thiiirdly) January 24, 2013 at 11:13 am #

    Am I the only one that can’t see the picture?

    I literally pictured you falling—thats good writing. I don’t have the fear about the treadmill but I do about tearing a muscle like some horror videos I’ve seen on youtube.

    I think my equivalent of scars will be loose skin—a reminder of how long and how far I let myself go. It’ll be a limp, but better a limp than a triple bypass surgery.

  4. Janae January 24, 2013 at 11:21 am #

    I’m dying laughing!!! Hysterical story!!

  5. Amanda Z January 24, 2013 at 4:30 pm #

    I also have an irrational fear of falling off of the treadmill… and breaking my leg… and having to yell upstairs for my boyfriend to take me to the ER. Good times.

  6. Carla K January 24, 2013 at 11:23 pm #

    I’m a super klutz myself so this sounds exactly like something I would do. I’ve had my phone detach from my headphones, fall on the treadmill, and shoot off the back . . . more than once. I wish I could say there was no one around when that happened. I can’t.
    I used to be in dance all throughout elementary school and high school so I seem to have a hard time not dancing when I hear music. Enter headphones and a treadmill. I think you can see where I’m going. I’m rockin’ out to my tunes and trying to do some fancy footwork while on a moving belt. There I went. I fell (shot is more like it) right off the back of the machine. I wish again that I could say there was no one around when that happened. I can’t.

    • fatchicktofitchick February 4, 2013 at 9:37 am #

      OMG LOL Love treadmill gone wrong stories! Dance chickadee Dance!

  7. javamama January 27, 2013 at 11:00 am #

    I remember working out at the gym on the treadmill and the guy I really thought was so hot came up next to me and starting talking to me. I was as cool as a cucumber till I got so involved in the conversation I wasn’t concentrating on my walking and guess who fell face first??? Ya guess who never went to that gym again???

  8. Sarah McHugh January 29, 2013 at 11:12 am #

    One of my favorite stories ………

  9. Laura January 31, 2013 at 10:41 pm #

    LOL!!! I love the Golden Girls and I love this post. 🙂

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