What Drives This Chick?

29 Jan

I get emailed from time to time from readers, and the emails range from questions and comments, to a need to connect with someone who “gets it”.

I was recently asked “Where do you find the drive to keep going?”  The author acknowledged that this maybe be an impossible question to answer.  I attempted to do so in what I call a rambling “heart dump”.  I wanted to share my response with you guys.

Thank you for reading my blog!  I am so glad that you are enjoying it.  I have to tell you that is a difficult question that does not have just one answer.  The motivation to start came from just being so unhappy with myself and being tired of being that way.  I was just so upset with myself and what I looked like.  I was desperate to do something and was willing do something drastic.  I planned on having the lap band surgery.  I went through all of the preliminary visits and was cleared for surgery, only to have my insurance deny the precertification.  I was devastated and actually said to my husband, “I guess I am meant to always be fat.”  I cried for a bit, decided to appeal the decision, but I prayed when I sent that letter.  I was nervous about the surgery, about having a device in me forever, having to eat tiny bites or risk getting food stuck in the pouch, not being able to take certain over the counter medication just because the pill could get stuck, etc.  I was scared, but desperate.  I was willing to endure all that to lose weight.  So, I prayed that if surgery was not the way for me, that the appeal would be denied as well.  I told myself that if it was denied, that was not a no, it was just a not this way.
Well it was denied, and I embarked on the journey that started with my blog.  I committed to a weight loss clinic in my area, and at every turn in the beginning…all the places I would typically stumble and lose my way…I just kept going.  I knew in my heart of hearts that I had never really committed fully to making changes.  I knew I could not go on being depressed and miserable and mad at the world, when I was not willing to make the sacrifices that I needed to make.
Pushing through those plateaus  pushing myself to workout, pushing myself to say no to tempting junk foods, got me to a point, where it was not hard.  I still work hard and still have to stay in control, but it is not a struggle anymore.  It really all did become habit.  It just took one time pushing myself to a place I had never pushed before.  On the other side of that struggle, frustration  hunger, pain, is a world were you have pride in yourself, where you feel amazing after a workout and proud after making healthy choices all day.
The other part of this is also giving yourself a break.  It seems like counter-intuitive advice.  To work hard but ease up on yourself.  What I mean is, we are not going to be perfect.  We are not always going to exercise when we should, we are not always going to make perfect food choices.  However, those moments when we stumble do not define our destiny.  They are simply minor annoyances along the way.  I tell myself, I messed up and I move on.  I don’t get down about it or think I have jacked up the whole process.  That indiscretion does not define me.  I am not perfect.  I am strong and so are you.  I honestly believe that this is in every person who struggles with their weight.  You have to be willing to say no and have crazy self control in the early stages, so you can set healthy habits for the long run.
I know how it sounds so much easier said than done.  I know how impossible permanent changes feel, weight loss, feeling good about yourself…all of it.  I know girl.  I know oh so well.  I hope this has not come across as cliche or preachy or all knowing.  I just know I had to say enough and mean it.  I was sick of it and I knew I was the only one who had the power to fix it.
I am here for you if you need an internet buddy to bounce stuff off of or lean on.  I don’t know you, but I know that you can do this to.  You just can.  For something so hard, it is that simple.  Believe you will do it…and you will.  Don’t second guess it and don’t look back.

I mean it when I say:

Stay Strong and Keep Moving,

sig

23 Responses to “What Drives This Chick?”

  1. Tiffany Lehman January 29, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

    Beautifully written. I too tried to get the lapband a few years ago and was denied and I just decided I was going to do it the old fashioned way, my girlfriend was all set to go for surgery and at the last minute pulled out and decided to give it the old fashion try and has lost 150 pounds, maintained her healthy weight now for 2 years, she was 300 and today at 150 pounds and has gone from a couch potato to a marathon runner and now a wellness and running coach. The mind is powerful…I have learned in my journey that I’m the only one that can do this. For me any surgery would be a temporary fix for a long term problem. I really wasn’t that inspired to reach my personal and wellness goals and fitness goals until I came across you on Instagram. Keep being you Mrs. FitChick and Mr FitChick…I really am inspired by both of you and look at what you’re giving to Tink too. What a gift!!!

    • fatchicktofitchick February 4, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      Thank you so much for your kind words and continued support! Regardless of surgery or not, the mental and emotional relationship with food has to change. That is the same in any journey no matter how the person gets to the end result.

  2. Amanda Schuller January 29, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    Awesome post!

  3. d1012f January 29, 2013 at 2:59 pm #

    Great advice! And I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Laura @ Chaotic Domestic January 29, 2013 at 3:35 pm #

    I think this is perfect advice. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

  5. Courtney @ Journey of a Dreamer January 29, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

    Such great and true advice!

  6. Silly Girl's Momma January 29, 2013 at 11:11 pm #

    Beautifully written! It’s nice to know there is someone else who is going through the same journey. Thanks for always being so open about your journey.

  7. Brooke January 30, 2013 at 9:45 am #

    Thank you again!

  8. *alyse* January 30, 2013 at 1:03 pm #

    oh you know…just some titty baby tears shed in my cube while reading this at work! YOU ARE A FREAKIN ROCKSTAR!!!!!

    • fatchicktofitchick January 30, 2013 at 1:06 pm #

      Confession: I shed some titty baby tears when this poured out of me and onto the computer screen.

      Thank you for the compliment!

  9. Angela @ Honey, I Shrunk the Mom January 30, 2013 at 10:32 pm #

    Awesome, awesome post! I can totally relate. 🙂

  10. Allie January 30, 2013 at 10:46 pm #

    I LOVE THIS!!!!! I’m so proud of you!!! You’re an inspiration and so authentic!!! I love your awesome accent and I think you’re the kind of girl I’d love to enjoy a big ass salad with. Haha!!! Thanks for being so open and helping inspire others through your journey!!!

    • fatchicktofitchick February 4, 2013 at 9:29 am #

      HAHA! Thanks Allie! I would totally throw down a big ass salad with you too!

  11. MOM January 31, 2013 at 12:45 pm #

    you done a great job wirting this.. Im so so proud of you.. but I am getting a liitle concerned about my self….. Im trying to be objective about this …. BUT… I really do think I have the greatest kids in the world and of course the most beautiful grandkids…. lol ,,,. you inspire me so much… i love you always , mom

  12. Sarah McHugh January 31, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

    Reading this brought tears to my eyes. A LOT of tears. I am so proud of you.

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